Marriage is not a ‘me thing.’

It’s been a while since I’ve written I know! Life and work have been ‘COVID crazy!’ I just wanted to bring a moment of normal, a moment of encouragement to all you moms and wives out there who may be dealing with stress in your marriage during this time (amongst other things). In a world that says, ‘take care of yourself’ and ‘remember self-care is life,’ just remember if you’re married than sometimes putting self first comes 2nd. This is an important concept in marriage because as you put the other first and make that person feel happy and important than your marriage tends to be more at peace, thus putting you at peace as well.

My husband and I have been married for 24 years and have been through many difficulties over the years (enough to warrant divorce a couple of times over), but after many lessons learned and, most importantly, giving our lives entirely to Jesus our savior and Lord we have learned each other pretty well. For instance, I have learned that my husband needs time with me often and this can simply be sitting together without an agenda, but that’s what he needs as well as other things that men require that is oh so important in a relationship! Men are very physical beings, remember that;-) And over the years my husband has learned that I am a very independent person and need to be away from distractions to be able to fully focus on him! I also love learning and being outside. The five love languages can be a powerful tool for your marriage. There is a helpful book called, The Five Love Languages,’ by Gary Chapman, highly recommend! (Just a hint..I used to always do things aka ‘acts of service’ for my husband and that was my love language not doesn’t work, his is quality time and physical touch).

To give an example of making your spouse a priority is when you are both working many hours and are tired, yet you wake up early with him and spend time with him instead of going to exercise with a girlfriend, because you like to be physically active (not everyday, but you know when your husband needs your attention) Or it could mean watching his crime show with him after work even if you just want to get on Tik Tok and ‘veg out.’ When the rest of the world says take time for yourself (which is important) constantly you must remember you have a person that under the covenant of God is part of you. It says in Mark 10:8, “and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh.” Remember with all the chaos in the world right now your spouse and significant other should be your best friend, your lover, your consistent partner in crime, your calm in the storm (although your spouse is only human, Jesus however is always constant and never changes, he is our rock). Be there for one another and let God use your marriage as a firm foundation for each other and for your family. God bless you all and stay safe!

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